Mercy to All Creations: The Muslim LGBTQ+ Dilemma in Religious Spaces
Due to stigma, some will leave Islam due to pressure deaming our existence immoral
As Muslims, when it comes to religious spaces, the best place is the mosque. A sacred place where every Muslim goes to be one with Allah. A place of seeking peace and calm in a serene environment where you can go into the holistic vortex of communication with Allah.
But not for LGBTQ+ Muslims like me.
It’s different, even weird, for us to be in a mosque when many people will look at us as if we’re aliens. Firstly, our physical appearance usually shuns us away from the ‘normal’ muslim community. Secondly, there is too much ‘dakwah policing’ from those who are not even selected nor elected by any mosque committee and their eyes are glued on you as if you’re a criminal that has committed the greatest sin upon Allah’s eyes.
One of my friends, for example, was chased away because of her butch appearance. She was chased away while trying to put on the prayer garment (telekung). One makcik came towards her, looked at her from head to toe, and gave a sneering remark: “Kamu ni bukan perempuan tulen, tak leh sembahyang kat sini.” (You are not a “real” woman, so you can’t pray here.)
My friend’s intention to be in a mosque to find solace with Allah was halted by this makcik, who thinks that what she did will gain her reward in Jannah (Paradise).
It’s sad but true. This incident is just one of many others that I can tell you about the dilemma and obstacles we, as Muslims from the LGBTQ+ community, are facing daily.
Due to this, some of us will even go to the extent of leaving Islam because some Muslim people within the sphere are convinced that what they did is not wrong.
During the days when I was closeted and in my hijab, I remember there was a woman in a mosque who specifically policed ladies who just came back from the office and were wearing corporate clothing in short skirts. She would just say bluntly in an authoritative manner: “Ok, if you ladies are coming here, please have the decency to bring along a sarong before entering the mosque, or else don’t come and do your prayer here.”
Seriously, why do these makciks or pakciks (aunties and uncles) think they have the ‘rule of thumb’ on telling people what to wear and when not to pray within the mosque?
Since when did Allah need these kind of people to protect Allah from seeing indecency?
Allah sees us from the beginning of our soul to the day we died, and that is as naked as Allah has seen us as human beings – Allah’s creation.
[On the authority of Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) – the servant of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) – that the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said :
“None of you will believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself.” [Related by Bukhari & Muslim]
This hadith is strongly correlated with the Golden Rule which is “do as to others what you want to yourself.”
Would these makciks and pakciks want that to happen to them, being hostile and aggressive towards others whom they may assume to lack Islamic knowledge just because they didn’t dress up the way other mosque-goers do?
Where is the love and kindness that are seemingly obligatory for Muslims to show to everyone, regardless of race, culture, religion, or creed? As mentioned in Quran:
“We have not sent you except as a mercy to the worlds.” – Surah Al-Anbiya 21:107
And our Prophet Muhammad (may peace and blessing be upon him) reiterated in the hadiths:
Those who are merciful will be shown mercy by the Most Merciful. Be merciful to those on the earth and the One above the heavens will have mercy upon you. [Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1924, Grade: Sahih]
In the word Mercy according to the Islamic context, it derives from two words: Ar-Rahman (Most Gracious-Merciful) and Ar-Rahim (Most Compassion).
It is the most common name occurring in the Quran. Rahman and Rahim both derive from the root Rahmat, which refers to tenderness and benevolence.
Thus, this shows that for Muslims, it is important to treat everyone with kindness and tenderness, and this will not happen if the individual does not have the feeling of compassion and love for one another.
Going back to the issue of religious spaces for LGBTQ+muslims here in Singapore, I can simply state that it is difficult for us to be in the mosque and commune in religious congregations with other Muslims as their ‘fear’ leads to discrimination towards LGBTQ+ muslims. They have the privilege to be with the rest of the Muslim community who are already a minority in this country. Us LGBTQ+ muslims do not have that privilege. We are the minority within the minorities.
We are being alienated and accused as an apostate (due to our gender marker) unless the higher Muslim authority are willing to give us that religious space for us to be in oneness with Allah in peace, and to be part of the congregation without prejudice and discrimination from other Muslims.
I remember the moment I did my umrah (pilgrimage to Mecca). It was around 3 am in the wee hours of the morning. I was wearing a morroccan Taub (Morroccan Long Garment for Men) and underneath I wore my hijab. I was mocked by a young Arab man. He tried to pull down my hijab and said that my attire did not represent a true Muslimah dressing. At that point of time, I was not comfortable wearing the telekung (the prayer gown worn by muslims women). I was more comfortable with wearing something that is masculine but loose.
Furthermore, I believe as a Muslim when your intention is to visit Allah’s abode (Mecca), we should only focus on one purpose and that is our devotion to the One and only God – Allah. It is not our business to be dakwah (preaching) policing Allah’s guests who came million miles away just to be with the Creator. As for this young Arab man who tried to pull down my hijab, it showed his disconcerting manner while being in the holy land. His misogynistic and mockery did not reflect himself as a Muslim who should only concerned his relationship with Allah and Allah alone.
I must admit it is difficult as a Muslim woman or lesbian to be closed to your Creator (Allah) when there are men who constantly intervened in your way of worshipping Allah.
In this millenium, Womxn are independent enough to stand on their own and have a say in their opinion about Islam. Islam is a progressive religion of the Abrahamic Faiths. Muslims believe that Islam is a complete version of primordial faith. Now is the time we need to revamp the old traditional way that was mainly written by Man, the holy scriptures – Quran and the Hadiths should be revisited and re-translated based on today’s perspective. It will be a collective work that primarily focus on diversity, gender equality and inclusivity.
We have yet to meet any male scholars who truly promoting Feminism the way our Prophet Muhammad do.
Prophet Muhammad was a man who believed that every woman has a voice for themselves. He showed the importance of having woman’s rights in every aspect of human life. He was a husband who will not dismiss or dispute his wife’s opinion without the lack of discernment. He is the best examples of being a good Muslim.
In conclusion, regardless of the attire we are wearing, and have covered ourselves decently, no one has the right to judge or discriminate on how we should dress in front of our Creator. As our decency belong to Allah and Allah alone.
And only Allah that we should seek mercy and repentance…
Rahmatan lil’alamin (Mercy to all creations)
